Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
