So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
