..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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