: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
