he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
