you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
