The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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