Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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