How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
