You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
