dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
