Kiss
Puke
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
