Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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