Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
