I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The adults are the big ones right?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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