Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
