so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
