I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
nutella sex= disaster
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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