There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
