The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Enjoy the penises
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
