my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
