we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
