It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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