bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
