the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
