sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
