yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to stop coming to work sober
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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