2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it glows. i had to have it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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