I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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