im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
