There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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