sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
