I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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