Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
