I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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