windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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