Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
