thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
