If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
