We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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