We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
