you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
