last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
