But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
