I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
