apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
