How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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