My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
