I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
