I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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